Cycling Buddies

Grafton put on his cycling gloves all by himself today, which is no mean feat, since even his parents have always had trouble getting each of his fingers through the holes when helping him.

You should see this little guy on his bike now--he pedals faster than Dad now. He really flies and gets up all the little hills without stopping. (When he's tired, he struggles, but rarely stops). He's still on training wheels though. We're not pushing him too hard to take them off, but we keep mentioning it. He recently agreed to taking off the training wheels from one of his two bikes; we'll see how this goes when I actually do it.

Myself, I've been getting in some early morning rides before work recently. A couple of times I've slipped out before Grafton was up, but today, Grafton was up. He helped me get ready but teared up with the saddest pout I've ever seen when I was heading out. He really didn't want me to go. But then he didn't try to make me stay either, which he could have easily done. I think he really understands that I love to ride my bike and didn't want to sabotage my opportunity. I thought that was quite mature of him. But it sure was hard to leave such a sad little boy behind. I made it up to him tonight by joining him on ride around the neighborhood. We do the loop outside of our house rather often now. And now that he can get his cycling gear on all by himself, it should be easier than ever to get a quick ride in together.

Ulterior Motives

Grafton has figured out that there are real advantages to concealing one's true intentions. Particularly when these intentions belie a plan that has, in the past, been the frequent target of parental veto.

While we were making dinner, Grafton slyly mentions to his parents that he is heading upstairs to "check the carpets." His parents exchange a quick grin and raised eyebrow to one another. "Okay, Grafton! Let us know how that goes." As he heads upstairs, Mom deciphers this odd declaration to mean that he is in fact going upstairs to put on his favorite pajamas. She shares this realization with Dad, who nods with understanding. As Grafton reaches his room, Dad calls out, "How are things going up there?" "Fine, Dad!" Toilet flushes. Dad asks again, "Are you coming back down soon? Do you need any help up there?" Grafton quickly responds, "No, Daddy! I don't need any help. Don't come up here." The door to Grafton's bedroom is now closed, and sounds are muffled. Another exchange between Dad and Grafton, who answers that is everything is fine. After a while we hear his footsteps as he slowly descends the stairs. Upon entering the kitchen, he shows up with a probing smile, and tilted head, trying to look cute enough to diffuse the certain reprimand of having put on his pajamas before dinner time. It works. Mom gives in and asks with excitement, "Did you put those on all by yourself!?" Confidently, Grafton responds that he did. Mom and Dad smile at each other, the whole act being too adorable to ruin with another "lesson" in what constitutes appropriate dinner attire. Of course, in our acceptance of his actions, we have now set ourselves up to deal with continued acts of willful deceit for many years to come.

You've got to hand it to the little guy--he's really beginning to figure out how to get what he wants.

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Update: I now realize that back on Mar 2, I started writing a blog entry, which I never finished. I'll simply share it here, unfinished, as it highlights how Grafton dealt with being told "no" only two months ago:

When I tell Grafton that there's something he not allowed or is unable to do because he's a child, he usually responds, "Daddy, when you were a lilly [little] boy, your Mommy and Daddy said that you can't do [X] because you...[repeating whatever reason I had given him]?" He seems to want to make sure that everything he's going through as a small person is similar to what his Daddy and Mommy had to go through too. And if that's the case, then it's alright with him.

Reception

Grafton got a few new toy pickup trucks from his Grandpa and Baba yesterday. This morning, he was playing with them before breakfast, and he started wiggling one of the trucks' chrome antenna. Since it looked fragile we told him not to yank on it. Out of nowhere, he started explaining to us that this was for listening to music! I asked him what would happen if it broke off, and he said "then you can't listen to music or news." Now I vaguely remembered explaining to him what an antenna does, but it was a long time ago. To further test his understanding, I asked him where the antenna was on his Mom's car. Now this was a little tricky, since her car has one of those modern, low-profile antennas on the back center of the roof. And that's exactly what Grafton told us! I guess he really knows a thing or two about antennas.

Quickies

I pointed out a radio tower on top of Mt. Tom to Grafton, while we were on a walk. He then explained to me, Dad, you can go up there to the radio tower and listen to the radio!"

Grafton now enjoys "reading" books to himself now. Not that he can read yet. And he's always liked paging through his books when we were not around to read them ourselves. But now, he pretends he's reading the books to someone else. It's rather cute. He sits with his book quietly, turning the pages, and paraphrases the story on each page in whisper voice.

Mom asked Grafton what they should get Dad for his birthday. All on his own Grafton came up with the idea of strapping a snow shovel onto his Dad's front bicycle wheel. He explained Dad could then ride around and around, plowing the snow out of the way as he rides. This was a particularly insightful idea, considering that we don't even snow on the ground this winter.

Grafton can identify pizza delivery trucks by the illuminated signs they place up on the roof. (No doubt, he's picked up on our frequent comments of "there goes another Family Pizza delivery in our neighborhood", which we see 2-3 times on any given weekend night.)

Grafton was singing a song to the melody of "Farmer in the Dell", but making up his own (nonsense) words. I asked him, is that "Farmer in the Dell?" He replied, "No, it's the same tune, but different words." While this a entirely reasonable response, I was surprised that he already has separate concepts for the melody and the lyrics of a song.

In January we visited NYC, arriving at Grand Central Station. When we entered the crowded, bustling station, he quickly commented, "I see a lot of legs!" When we exited onto 42nd St, he asked, "Where are the taxi cars?" (While we riding on the train, I had told him about how everyone takes taxis to get the around the city.)

Dental Report

Grafton had his first dentist visit recently. He did great! A model patient, agreeable and patient with the dental technician. And his teeth were in very good shape. (Good brushing, Grafton!)

Unfortunately, we confirmed that he has a non-trivial underbite. We've always been aware of it, but never worried about it too much. Now we're worrying a little more. We'll be heading to an orthodontist soon to figure out whether we need to take corrective actions. If we do, it's not going to be fun for any of us, least of all Grafton. But we'll just wait to find out the facts first.

Turning a Corner Behaviorally?

Grafton's behavior over the last few months has, at times, been, well...trying. And trust us when we say that Grafton's teachers would agree with us on this one. Perhaps it's that Grafton has just been trying to assert his independence, but the little guy simply would not listen to instructions. You could ask him, then tell him, them order him, and then blow up in anger in front of him, and he would simply go on doing whatever he wanted. It was not fun for any of us. Or his teachers, who were even forced to implement some Grafton-specific positive-feedback tactics to improve his behavior at school (with limited success).

But we believe our son may finally be turning a corner. With increasing frequency, Grafton now will listen to us, after even just one request. And if he's done something wrong, made a mess, or otherwise upset us in some way, he now shows a modicum of remorse when we scold him. In the past, if you had to raise your voice with him, he would just get more impertinent and mock your anger with a silly grin. But recently, you can tell he actually feels bad, and has even become teary-eyed and pouty in response to a scolding. And once in a while, he'll even explain to us why his actions were wrong and what the consequences might have been.

So perhaps life will get a little easier around here for us all, with a lot less yelling and arguing.

Please don't get the impression that he's turned into a perfect angel--he's still very much a free spirit and has a strong sense of what he wants to do (or not do). And we love that about him. Sometimes. :-)

D**n it!

Well, I suppose it's not the worst word to yell out, for your first bad word.