Carter & Max, bruhdas

Grafton and I finally had a chance to spend a full day together, which hasn't happened in a while. (Mom was around but taking some "me" time for herself most of the day.) We started out the morning by having Trader Joe's waffles with peanut butter, a recent culinary favorite of Grafton's. After some reluctance I convinced Grafton to join me in putting together his new 100-pc Safari floor jigsaw puzzle. He's certainly got a knack for puzzles and has been doing many simpler ones on his own, during mornings when he's still waiting for his parents to rise from bed. At some point during puzzle time, Grafton declared that today we would pretend to be "brudhas", instead of Dad and son. Apparently, our Dad had died in the Army, leaving us two boys and Mom to fend for ourselves. Grafton became "Proder", and I became "Max". But soon after, Proder became Carter. Later in the day Carter became Aiden, but Carter was the predominant brotherly name today. Anyway, after the Safari puzzle, we whipped through the easier Solar System puzzle, and then needed to decide what to do next. With the impending forecast of rain for the afternoon, I encouraged Grafton to join me on a hike, a challenge he accepted without too much coaxing (finally!).  We suited up in our waterproof hiking shoes, packed our backpack with our rain coats and gloves, and headed out the door. We took the Route 47 trailhead up to the Summit House on Mt. Holyoke. Carter hiked aggressively, without getting hung up on picking out walking sticks (etc.) too frequently. He powered up the steep sections, and we even passed a group of older hikers by the time we reached the paved road. Talking the whole way up didn't seem to slow him down. Near the top I took out my camera to grab a few shots of his final ascent, but he was so quick I nearly missed him, and got winded trying to catch up. We hung out on the summit for a short bit, took a few shots, and headed back down the Halfway Trail. After a slip and fall on his butt down a steep section, he became worried I'd ask him to change out of his now-dirty sweatpants when we got home. So he asked repeatedly whether we could wash off the dirt, allowing him to keep on his pants all day. (He absolutely adores his sweatpants, and wants to wear nothing else these days.) I tried to convince him he could keep them on all day, even if we had to wash them, and he eventually believed my words. We agreed not to tell Mom about the slip and the dirty pants (so don't tell her please, if you're reading this!). Holding hands now, we finished the steep part of the descent to the paved road. At the Halfway House the drizzle set in, so we threw on our raincoats, and started down the final segment of our hike. The rain started in a bit harder, but we were well equipped and so it didn't bother us at all. Back at the car, we saw a few other parties of hikers were also returning from their wet outing. Taking off our wet outer layers, we hopped in the car and headed to Barstow's, where Mom had agreed to meet us. After a nice lunch, we decided to head up to Hadley in one car to get some shopping out of the way. We first stopped at Sam's to get a few last minute items for our (iffy) trip to Lake Placid. Grafton was in a very active mode, making it difficult to shop, but generally well behaved. He did a great job altering his behavior when I explained to him that he was requiring too much attention from me. Next, a quick stop at Whole Foods and then a drive home in the pouring rain. Finally at home, Grafton invited me to build his new fire set Legos together, which we did. As the set had both a truck and a building, Dad took the truck and Grafton the building. He followed the instructions intently, without getting bored or demotivated and build it up perfectly, which pleasantly surprised me. With dinner time upon us, we ate homemade pizza, and followed it up with some Patriots football. Earlier in the day, Dad had told Grafton that he needed to install his snow tires. Dad was going to put off this drudgery for another day, but Grafton remembered the task and told me I had to get it done ("Do it! Do it! You have put on the snow tires, Max!"). He was also intent on helping me, having remembered the importance of his participation from earlier tire swaps. So we suited up in our work clothes and headed out to the cold, damp garage. Grafton was a dedicated, focused helper the whole time. He offered his strength turning the lug nut wrench and tirelessly provided the new lug nuts needed during installation, popping each into the extension socket with great care. Listening to country music all the while (with one song repeating three times during a best-of-the-year countdown!?), we got through three tire changes together before I told him he needed to go to bed. He was starting to put up his normal fight on this matter, but I explained to him that since he was my younger brother, he needed to go to bed earlier than his older brother. And that seemed to convince him it was okay to give in and head inside to get ready. When I finished up the last tire, I headed inside, washed up, but arrived inside too late to give him a kiss goodnight. Grafton had gone to bed quickly, tired from the full day of activities. And that's about as full of a day together as we've had in a long time.

A Poignant Farewell

Baba stayed with us for the past week, over the Thanksgiving holiday. At the end of her visit, we drove her to the airport. After we exchanged hugs and got back in the car, we noticed that Grafton clearly was sad and in fact even a bit teary-eyed. Since Grafton usually says his farewells with little fanfare or emotion, we were pleasantly surprised to see this more emotional reaction from our child.

Lesser of Two Evils

As is usual during dinner, we pushed Grafton to try one of the healthier foods on his plate that he wouldn't otherwise eat on his own. This time was Harvard Beets, a leftover from Thanksgiving. I tried to get him to eat it by naming in Purple Jelly Fruit, but he wasn't buying it ("Dad that's beeeets."). So I cut one in half and fed it him. He tried to chew it, but clearly wasn't enjoying it. As we really hate when he spits food out, we encouraged him to chase it with something that he actually likes to eat, like sweet potato or quinoa. But instead of taking our suggestions, he picked up a leafy green and shoved it into his mouth. We thought that choice was rather ironic, since that's one of the other foods we often have trouble getting him to eat!

Pickup Lines

Grafton had a rough day at school recently, having issues behaving and being nice to the other children. During a car ride later that evening, Mom and I were trying to explain the benefits of benevolent behavior in hopes that a rational explanation would somehow reprogram the limbic center of his brain. As usual, we could tell that our pleas and persuasions were ineffective at best. To inject some levity into the situation (mostly for Mom), I provided one last example to Grafton, "Consider what could happen if you tell a girl that she has really pretty hair--she might decide to go out to dinner with you." To which my four year son retorted, "That is your style, Dad!" Mom and I burst out laughing. I have no idea where Grafton picked up that line!

I stand corrected!

Grafton was telling us about a friend at school who brought in a caterpillar that was in the process of turning into a butterfly. So I said, "Oh, so it's in a cocoon!?" Irritated with my naive understanding of the metamorphosis process, Grafton snorts back, "It's not a cocoon, it's a chrysalis!"

Epitath for Dad

Interestingly, Grafton told me that after I die, he will take my Mount Washington hillclimb race medal and hang it on my gravestone. Thanks, Grafton!

Puzzling Behavior

Just noting that Grafton has taken to Jigsaw Puzzles in a big way over the last week or so. He completed all of his larger format floor puzzles and has since moved on to the smaller puzzles.

Fear of Abandonment

After stumbling out of his room at 5:30am on the morning of our trip to Morehead City, the first thing out of his mouth was "You're not leaving without me, are you?"

Strava Athlete 2570974

Follow Grafton's cycling progress on Strava!

http://app.strava.com/athletes/2570974

A few memories from a summer day

In a single day, Grafton was introduced to the summer pleasures of a Slurpie and a milkshake. Taking the milkshake away from him before he finished its monstrous volume was like taking away an addict's next fix. No such issues with the Slurpie.

I showed Grafton how to use a fountain to make wishes, using a few pennies. Out loud, he wished to become a policeman when he grew up, a superhero for Halloween, and one another costume or profession which slips our memory. His first attempt at making a wish, he threw the penny straight over and past the fountain by about twenty feet.

On our way out of the house, he asked if we could go to Target and buy him the Lone Ranger Lego set he's been coveting for the past week. I told him he could buy it for himself if he brings his own money (he has a small amount of savings). He thought about it and then decided that he would buy it only after he finally got tired of his old Legos. We then talked about going to the movies, and he thought it better to stay home a watch a movie because the popcorn was too expensive at the theater. Ah, to learn the value of money!

Earlier in the day, Grafton spent 3 hours at the community garden with Mom, using a hoe to excavate an irrigation ditch in our garden plot. He enjoyed the work so much, he told Mom that he would start doing similar work for the other gardeners, as a way too earn money. After returning home, he spent an hour or two in the pool with Mom, until Dad returned from his bike ride.

Missed his own race!

Found a link to the below race on Velonews.com, and did a triple-take when I saw the name. Thought maybe I was delirious, after an active summer day in hot sun.

But I suppose there's still time to catch this event:

Manhan 20K

In muggy 90 degree heat, Grafton and Dad biked 20 kilometers today on the Manhan Rail Trail. We started at the Oxbow Marina in Easthampton and then headed north to, well,  Northampton. After stashing bikes at Dad's work and grabbing a bite at Woodstar Cafe, we made the return trip in the blazing sun. Grafton never slowed down! To keep motivation high, we play-acted the MotoGP World Championship teammate rivalry between Valentino Rossi and Jorge Lorenzo. Grafton was Rossi and Dad was Lorenzo, and of course Rossi took the win at the end of the day.

24 miles

That's the distance Grafton has covered during his last 3 bike rides, all on the rail trail.

Here's the last one we did together as a family, averaging 8 mph!

 

Candy spot

At Wholefoods, I parked next to a handicapped parking spot. Grafton saw the sign and told me that I couldn't park in a "candy spot".

Snippets

After asking Grafton to brush his teeth yesterday night, he walks into my bathroom holding his rinse cup and tells me, "I'm doing an experiment". (He had mixed soap and water in his cup and was swirling it around.)

Earlier that evening, when Grafton asked me to play cars ("Spy Cars", to be exact), he told me that he would not not be bossy and that I could play the way I wanted to. (This bossy play behavior is something we've been trying to modify lately.)

Another Grafton!

The man in front of us in the GBO airport security line turned around after the security check and asked, "Did I hear correctly that your son's name is Grafton?" We replied that indeed it was, expecting him to comment on the uniqueness of the name (a common response). He then confirmed the spelling with us and then with a look of disbelief shared the nature of his surprise. Namely that one of his three sons too was named GRAFTON!

Shellfish Allergy: Confirmed

We suspected Grafton had an allergy to shrimp, after a Christmas night incident where he purged his dinner. Last night we had scallops. By 10:30pm we knew that shellfish would no longer be on the Kid's Menu at our house. He's doing fine this morning, but had a rough few hours last night. His parents are a little weary as well.

Leather Parchment

Grafton has been practicing his writing a lot lately. He has a minor obsession with pens and paper. Every piece of paper he sees lying around, he asks, "Can I write on that?" Which is nice, because he didn't always ask initially, believing all paper was specifically intended for him (including bills, and such). Similarly with pens, he picks up any one that he sees and walks around with it, looking for paper to write on. (Though we decided to put an end to this practice, to keep him safe from pointy pen tips during high rates of translocation.)

So a few mornings ago, Mom had headed off to work, while Dad continued to get ready. Grafton was sitting in the living room, and requested to watch cartoons. But Dad encouraged him to listen to music instead, and Grafton agreed to some Johnny Cash. With Grafton occupied, Dad headed upstairs to finish getting ready. A little while later, Grafton called up and announced, "I did my letters!" To which Dad responded encouragingly, "That's great! Can I see them?" I headed downstairs to see what he had written, but Grafton was still sitting on the couch. "Where did you write your letters?," I asked my proud son. I was confused when he pointed to the leather couch he was still sitting on. And when he looked up at me to see whether his father was proud of him, he must have been equally surprised by my dropped jaw and gaze of horror. "WHAT DID YOU DO, GRAFTON!?," I yelled out. And instantly he realized that he had done something rather bad. I immediately sent him to his room for a timeout (mostly so that I could calm down myself), and he was already crying as he went up the stairs. I looked down at the couch one more time to read his fingernail-etched glyphs: "AHL".

We had our talk a few minutes later, and we left it at that.  I told Mom about the transgression after Grafton went to bed that night, to save him from another act of parental retribution.

The next day, Grafton sat on the couch once more. This time he got to watch cartoons. And he wore gloves. Interestingly, this was his idea, not mine, and he noted that with these on he wouldn't be able to scratch the couch again!

Written Identity

Grafton has taken the first step towards writing his autobiography. Namely, the ability to write his own name, without guidance, prompting, or copying.

Restaurant Ruse

The last couple of nights, Grafton has enjoyed playing the role of waiter during dinner time. He prepares a menu, takes orders from his customer, brings out the food to the table when the cook yells "Order Up!", and even provides the bill at the end of the meal.  Mom has played the role of diner, while Dad has played the role of cook. Now that we've been through this a couple of times, Dad finally realized he's been tricked into cooking dinner all by himself, while Mom sits at the table waiting to be served! We're switching roles tomorrow!